Cross Fever
by JoseJalapenoOnAStick
Summary: After yet another failed attempt at finding Cross, Devitto and Jasdero are left paying off more debts then ever. They decide to call in the real experts: nasty,lying, Lawyers and a few unlucky Noah.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Loquacious Luxuries

A light reptilian foot slid across the Noah's face as his snore stuttered, and he stirred slightly, kicking the stained bed covers half off. He remained unconscious.

"Bok, bok, bok!" The chicken scratched through the Noah's disarranged hair before sticking its foot into the black hole known as a teenager's mouth. It picked through its feathers and went slightly cross-eyed, trying to look down at its sinking foot and the figure leaning against the wall.

"Devitto?" Jasdero asked as he trudged his way against the wall before breaking off it and sitting on the edge of his brother's bed. "Devitto? Hee!"

Devitto remained asleep and started to snore louder than ever.

"Devitto, my chicken, he says it's time to get up." Jasdero picked the chicken up out of his brothers strangling mouth and put it on his own head. The chicken nested in the mess and fell asleep almost at once at if Jasdero's hair was full of sleeping gas, which it probably was.

"Hee, you still alive?" Jasdero wondered as he lifted his brother's eyelid and poked him in the ear with his pistol. He removed the gun from his brother's ear and picked up his other eyelid. After seeing no movement, he removed his hands from his brother's face and poked him in the neck.

"Should I get Road in here?" Jasdero pondered for a second. "With her candles? Hee, she just got a new box of them, they're red, she said they'll match the colour of your blood."

Jasdero was not capable of coming up with his own ideas or original lies, especially about other Noahs. The whole left side of his brain had collapsed and now fails to exist due to a punch upside the head by his brother's pistol. The Noah's brain, originally being the size of a marble by birth was now filled with filing cabinets full of one hundred ways to entertain a chicken and four ways to shoot yourself and your brother in the head. Usually simultaneously but there was that one time where Devitto said that if he used regular bullets one day he'd have x-ray vision. Thinking of the possibilities of being able to see through people's clothes made the twins excited.

Tyki had stopped him though, saying that it would cause all of his hair to fall out and for the rest of his life he would have to run around completely naked, for clothes would no longer existed. This was because they'd grow a mind of their own and run away to where Tyki kept all of his severed organs and limbs. He didn't specify where this place was but it sounded bad.

This of course sounded exactly like Jasdero's game, running around naked? What could be simpler? Devitto had stolen his idea of ripping off half his pants, but he had the idea of wearing no underwear. Although Jasdero had gotten it from some hooker's advice, he cherished it. That hooker was a genius; she had a filthy mouth, a black eye, and twenty one different ways to destroy someone's life. Although most of these were 'shut up you filthy slut' or 'I should really slap you silly with a light switch' Jasdero had listened for hours until a drunken dirty man with a shovel screamed at him and his brother to either pay her or get the hell out.

The twins, having spent all their money on candy and fuzzy boots, were broke down the lint in their pockets. Devitto, taking the heavy-set drunk's advice, got the hell out of there. Jasdero was a bit too slow, he had yelled, 'why don't _you _get out of my way?' And then he had taken out his pistol. Unable to fire by himself, he was completely useless and was hit in the head with the drunk's shovel. This would explain the collapse of the right side of his brain.

And on the other side of Tyki's threat, he would grow back his hair, wouldn't he? Even if he went so prematurely bald, Devitto had promised him he would buy him some hair because he feared that his brother would someday look like an aye-aye.

The twins had gone to buy some real bullets to stick in Jasdero but came home with a bullet usually used to take down bull elephants. It didn't even fit their guns.

"Fine, I'm going to go and get Road, right now. Hee!" Jasdero walked out of the room, banging his antenna off the wall before slipping out into the hallway.

Devitto instantly sat up in his bed and laughed.

"Stupid Jasdero, he wouldn't know the difference between a human heart and the Jersey Devil." Devitto stuck out his tongue and pulled the covers up to his face. A small movement in the corner of the room had grown to his acknowledgment, and Devitto immediately fell down and closed his eyes, hoping that Road hadn't taken Jasdero's plea and that the movement wasn't Devitto-seeking missiles.

"What about a human heart?" Tyki asked, lifting his leg off of his knee so he could lean back in the chair the twins usually used to hit things with. This chair, having gone through so much already, creaked and moaned a death threat to crash and leave Tyki on the ground covered in splinters. Although the chair thought that this abuse was a good threat, Tyki didn't take notice.

"Jasdero is so stupid."

"Did you just realize this?"

"No."

"I think truthfully he has brain damage." Tyki muttered.

Devitto, wanting to fully explain to Tyki that Jasdero's brain was just a little abused, and that he didn't completely deserve goads to throw himself off of the stairs, stuck out his tongue and went "Bleh".

"How could you two share any two thoughts? I could maybe realize that you are both stupid enough to shoot each other in the head-" Devitto took out his pistol from under his pillow and cocked it- " with those _beloved _pistols of yours but how could you do anything other than trying to be _you_?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Devitto asked.

"It merely means you both are so stupid." Tyki said as he picked a spot on the cuff of his jacket.

It was silently for a minute before Devitto muttered, "Damn, why don't you just got die and do the world a favor?"

"Because I enjoy ripping out human hearts and making your lives difficult."

"I knew it."

"Everybody knows that. Why else would everybody wonder who I killed when I come home with blood on my hands?"

"Jasdevi believes that you fell in a storm drain onto a collection of alligators."

"That has never happened to me and never will." Tyke growled as if the very thought of falling or slipping by accident caused him to form potholes in his extensive ego.

"Jasdevi can still believe that."

Tyki scowled but didn't say anything else.

"How long have you been in our room?" Devitto asked.

"Since four o clock last night."

Devitto looked horrified. "Why, what were you doing you freak?"

Tyki smiled, "Why, I was just wondering if you were the ones who scream curses in your sleep. For the last few nights I have been awakened by continuous and spontaneous screams of some of the most absurd language I have ever heard."

"Like what?" Devitto asked.

"I have a list of them, you want to see?" Tyki took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it over to Devitto. He read them out loud until he got to a particularly long and difficult word he didn't know how to pronounce.

"That word is loquacious, and yes, I didn't know you knew any words with more than six letters. That is quite a jump from 'damned pigmy elephant hookers' isn't it?" Tyki said, "Wait, elephant is eight letters isn't it?"

"I called Road a loquacious little girl?"

"Yes."

"Bitchin'!"

"Yes, well I hope you are very proud of yourself, and I have one word for you." Tyki got out of the chair and took a step through the wall.

"What is that?" Devitto asked, still laughing from his use of the word loquacious.

"Duck." Tyki Mikk said as he went through the wall and walked down the hallway and out of sight.

"Duck? What's that supposed to mean?" Devitto asked, sticking a tongue out at Tyki's lack of explanation.

Suddenly, a scarlet arrow shot above Devitto's head and Devitto fell out of bed. Six more flaming candles shot after the teenager, each sticking in the wall and in the floor, not an inch from where a limb had been seconds earlier.

Devitto scurried across the floor on his belly like an abnormally big cockroach in the way of the kitchen light.

"Road, I'll kill you!" He cried as he crawled under his bed, banging his head off the metal frame of his bed in the process.

"Oh really?" Road asked as she threw her last candle at the bed and stubbornly left the room singing of how much his skin would cost on the black market. Jasdero slipped into the room and helped his brother away from the flaming bed sheets.

"Sorry 'bout that, she said that she'd just wake you up, Hee!"

"Are you sure she said awake and not murder?"

"Well she did use the word slaughter but I thought that meant she was going to make me a hamburger."

"Yeah a hamburger made out of me,"

"Hee! ."

"Yeah, I don't think I'd taste too good, I haven't showered in a week."

"Well I haven't showered in a month, beat that!" Jasdero said.

"Is that a new record yet 'Dero?"

"Maybe."

"Probably not."

"I don't think so." Jasdero admitted, missing his head and scratching his antenna instead. "I gotta tell you something but I can't remember what it is…"

"The Earl wants you down here, right now! Do you want me to send some more candles up there?" Road asked from downstairs.

"That's it." Jasdero smiled, "Tyki told me last night when he was watching you. Hee!"

"Stupid Tyki." Devitto muttered as he attempted to pull one of Road's candles out of the wall.

"Ow."

"Yeah, do you want that candle in your head, heart, or stomach?" Road screamed again from downstairs.

"How about in your own black heart you stupid loquacious-" Devitto answered.

"What did you just call me?" Road asked, suddenly showing up in the doorway.

"Loquacious."


	2. Green Globs of Sticky Bombs

Chapter 2 Green Globs of Sticky Bombs

"Tyki, is it possible for you to go two minutes without smoking?" Road asked as she sent another set of burning candles after Devitto. The cowering Noah had to slip onto his back and criss-cross his arms to avoid the unfortunate event of owning cadavers. Tyki was climbing the stairs, a lit match in one hand, and a smoke halfway to his mouth.

"No." Tyki said plainly, bowing his head slightly to light the smoke. He smiled deeply and looked into the room, nodding.

"Hehe, Tyki look at him, he's so scared!" Road charmed as she lifted three candles out of the floor boards and sent them in between Devitto's open legs. Devitto screeched and skittered backwards, grasping at his pants.

"How dare you. We'll kill you!" Devitto screamed, tilting the gun in his hand at his brother, gesturing for him to do the same. Jasdero slipped his bandaged hand onto his gun, caressing it almost as if it was his chicken.

"Yeah, we'll kill, kill, kill, hee!" Jasdero said, cocking his pistol at his brother's side.

"Yeah?" Road asked, waltzing slightly in her walk, she stepped into the room and stood next to Jasdero's bed. She lifted the covers, and shook them slightly, before dropping them onto the floor in deep disgust.

Jasdero's bed was full of three things, some of which were lethal when mixed together. Old yellowing magazines littered his pillow, some molding and taking the form of decaying cheese on his pillow, while others sat new, stolen only recently on the top like a statue of purity. These magazines where mostly filled with things you find on the street corner for twenty dollars though. There were no famous celebrities, or 'great deals on buying real estate', but things you can usually buy where you find tight leather whips and lingerie.

Another thing was fuzzy boots. Each with the amount of fur you'd find on an adult bull moose, or an abnormally furry Persian cat, they littered the middle of the disturbing bed like fur-bearing trout. The last thing was a bag of old potato chips, Jasdero cheered and walked toward the bed, away from his knee-hugging brother. He picked up one of the chips and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Thanks Road, Jasdero was looking for these forever. Hee!" Jasdero took a green chip from the crumpled bag and offered it to Road, whose face turned the color of rancid cottage cheese. She shook her head, stepping away from Jasdero's spoiled offerings.

"What I really want Jasdero, is for your brother to get his lousy butt downstairs before I stick one of these candles in his arteries." Road said as she took out one of her candles so she could stomp on Devitto's foot. Devitto instinctively reached for his foot, fearing the worst, but Road put her shoe to his face.

"Yeah, and how're you going to make me?" Devitto asked pointing his pistol at Road's leg.

"Easily, like this." Road removed her foot from Devitto's face and after thinking for a second, landed it perfectly into the boy's crotch. Devitto rolled onto his side, ripping at the fabric on his left leg, hiding his tearing face in his jacket.

"Dero, are you gonna help me here?" Devitto asked looking up at his brother who was rocking his chicken back and forth in his arms like a baby.

"Yeah, um, chicken go! Hee!" Jasdero put the chicken in his palm and tried to make it fly at the unsuspecting Road.

The chicken went cross-eyed and nestled into the Noah's palm, cooing itself to sleep. Jasdero slipped it onto his shoulder and rested his failing head onto it. Tyki stepped into the room and planted himself in the corner so he could make a memorable point of why the twins had no appendages in future conversations.

"Jasdero!" Devitto argued, "Put that thing somewhere else for a minute, before I use it as a bullet and shoot it into an Akuma's ear!"

"Hee! No, Jasdero will help." Jasdero grabbed onto his brother's hand and pulled him up so they could both face Road with the same fifty-fifty chance of living.

"Stop cowering and fight idiots." Tyki sighed.

"But, she's scary Tyki," Jasdero said.

"Because her ugliness can kill you upon contact." Devitto smiled. Road gave them a look that could make even the mythical basilisk commit suicide on contact.

"Why you stupid little-"Road said stepping up to the two twins. Smiling delightedly at herself she kicked the twins both in the shins and grabbed on the back of their necks. The Noahs both looked at each other and nodded, pointing the pistols at each other's heads.

"That's unfair, don't you dare." Road growled pointing them toward the door and leading them out into the hallway.

"It's not unfair, Jasdevi's just getting bored." Devitto said as he slipped the gun away from his brother and toward the ground, Jasdero just pointed his at the wall.

"Whatever you're going to do, I hope you fall and break your face." Road said, as they reached the stairs. Tyki, too lazy to wait for them, just went through the wall and waited at the bottom of the staircase.

"Green Bomb!" The twins cheered, each clinging onto the banister the Earl had installed for Tyki when he came home so drunk he couldn't even see a step if it was covered in ten foot spikes and neon signs for upcoming gruesome road work. The safety rail held fast and the twins held on for dear life as their feet fell out beneath them and hung limp like rag dolls.

Road wasn't as lucky as to grab onto Tyki's quaffing line. Her feet were utterly useless as the glob of green ick started to avalanche down the stairs, bringing her with it. She was catapulted, cursing, down the stairs and slammed into Tyki who fell against the wall, cracking his head off the rail, usually used to help him reach his room so he didn't conk out onto an unexpected cleaning Akuma. He fell onto his back with Road clinging on him for dear life in his lap.

"Score!" The twins sang as they continued to hang onto the banister as the last remaining glob cracked open in the middle of the stairs, levitating every inch in a slick, shiny mess of green.

"You…okay… Road?" Tyki asked, blinking a few times and shaking his head back and forth.

"Yes, thank you so much Tyki-pon, you broke my fall." Road picked a glob of Jasdevi's bomb off of Tyki and flicked it at the twins. "When I get up there I'll make sure I scalp you both."

"You scalp too much, next thing you know your room is going to be full of rotting hair lines." Devitto argued.

"Would you rather I get the Earl to bring me a medieval stretcher?" Road asked.

"Actually I think _I _need a regular stretcher." Tyki fidgeted and his back made the noise like a moose in mating season.

"I want a stretcher, it sounds cool! Hee!" Jasdero said.

"What's it do?" Devitto asked.

"It stretches you out until your skin explodes and you either die from blood lose or from the shock that your arms now reach out farther than Shaq's."

The twins looked at each other.

"That's awesome; we'd be so good at basketball, Hee!"

"Yeah, what's it look like?"

"It's big, medieval, wooden and it often had leather stripes that would bind your hands so you couldn't move." Road said.

Instantly, the two at the top of the stairs put their heads together and the next moment a huge hunk of wood and a spinning jenny appeared on the staircase and started to fall with the delightful noise of destruction.

Road looked up at the upcoming noise and jumped out of Tyki's lap, flattening herself against the wall a few feet away. Tyki looked up in his sore state, a few seconds too late to let the thing pass through him. The Jenny cracked off of his head and the blocks of wood pulverized his stomach.

"Tyki-pon?" Road asked, running toward him and taking the spinning jenny off of his face and bringing his head out of the basketball-sized dent his cranium had made. Tyki was even more cross eyed then Jasdero and his chicken, which was really saying something since the chicken recently discovered how to see his brain without asking Tyki a quick favor.

"I'll…I'm… Going to kill those brats." Tyki stammered pulling a few stray hairs out of his face.

"Okay, here's a candle, you might need it." Road handed him a large canary yellow candle.

"Oh no, scary butterfly man is gonna kill us!" Devitto cooed.

"Scary butterfly man. Scary butterfly man, maybe his butterflies will fly away into the sunset! Hee!"

"Yeah, I'm going to tear out your heart and stuff it into your eye sockets!" Tyki growled.

"But then what will you do with my candle?" Road asked.

Tyki turned around to tell her. "I'll stuff it into their empty rib cages."

The twins looked at each other and stood up. They both rather enjoyed their hearts. They were quite sure that their organs were the only things keeping them alive and not inside a crude casket carved by the Earl six feet under. Actually they had an empty feeling in the pits of the stomachs that if they died before any of the other Noahs, their graves would be danced on by all of them, even the Earl who would probably collapse the ground and fall onto their tombs.

The two did not want to spend eternity stuck under the Earl's marshmallow body.

Thinking for the best their legs could do, the two took a step back. Tyki went up another of the stairs and grabbed the railing for support. The twins backed into a particular nasty blob of their bomb, and looked down. Their legs both gave out and the slid down the steps as fast as if they had suddenly inherited jet skis.

Slamming into Tyki on the way down, they flew around the room laughing. Devitto stopped first, ending against the wall underneath a misplaced sofa. Jasdero had done a tail spin before landing, kneeing on Tyki's chest. Jasdero looked down at the man under him and poked him in the side of the face.

"Devitto, I think we killed Tyki." He muttered.

"Really? You know what this means?" Devitto asked.

"Rummage through his pockets!" Jasdero cheered as he starting picking through the pockets on Tyki's coat, pulling out dollars, pounds, Euros, and the occasional Shilling.

Devitto started picking through the pockets in Tyki's pants. He pulled out a carton of Tyki's smokes, some candy wrappers, and a dead mouse he had used earlier to show an Akuma his power. This mouse had been through three Akuma's so far, and although it no longer lived, it was a great tribute to Tyki's ability to send stupid crap through your body.

"Ew, dead mouse. Hee!" Jasdero muttered, grabbing the rodent and throwing it at the closest Akuma who it smacked right in the face.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. What was that for?" Mimi demanded, shaking the dead rat from her hair and cringing at the sight of its long thin tail. She turned her head around and dropped the small mammal onto the ground. She could tolerate anything, dead humans, the local giant squid that turned up dead now and then, even the horrors in Jasdevi's room. But she just didn't like rodents, alive, or otherwise. They usually annoyed Lulubell, and Mimi had a way for feeling the same way.

"You were too close." Devitto muttered, opening up the carton in his hand. "Damn it, that selfish Tyki used them all!"

"Why don't you get Lulubell down here to help you, anyways I'm sure she'd like the smell of that mouse. Hee!" Jasdero muttered, looking down at the money.

"Fine, maybe I will." Mimi pouted. "Madame Lulubell, Jasdevi is being mean!"

"Why don't you hit them?" A cold voice asked from the top of the staircase.

"I didn't know I could." Mimi said, fanning herself with the lethal weapon in her hands.

"If it's Jasdero and Devitto, you can." A small bell echoed from the top of the stairs.

"Okay, here I go, Madam Lulubell, come down her to watch."

"Are you really that excited to beat up a couple of teenagers?" Lulubell asked.

"Yeah, it's good practice the next time we go into town, I can beat up those weird annoying perverts that stare at us." Mimi charmed.

"Whatever you say Mimi," A smooth, black cat appeared at the top of the staircase and after straightening itself and proudly puffing out it's fluffy chest, took a leap down the first two steps.

As the ones before her, Lulubell slipped and ended up cart wheeling down the stairs and landing on Tyki's face. The cat screeched and leapt out the room so it could take comfort in the man awaiting her.

"Well if curiosity doesn't kill the cat," Jasdero muttered.

"Try velocity." Devitto finished, taking some of the money from his brother's hand and pocketing it.

"Ooh, when Tyki gains consciousness, he's gonna kill you!" Road smiled, picking up Tyki's hat and putting it onto her own head. The hat, being a good few sizes too big, fell down and rested on her neck, swallowing her head from sight. She walked out of the room, making sure she pushed the twins as she went, and slipped into the dining room, where the Earl greeted her.

"Road-Sama, finally, I was wondering where you'd run off too."

"Hello Earl!" Road said. "If you're wondering where Jasdevi, and Tyki-pon are, they're all recovering from a recent accident."

"What do you mean?" The Earl asked.

"You might want to see for yourself, they're lying out in the next room."

"Really?" The Earl said as he got up and looked into the next room where Jasdero and Devitto were sitting on Tyki and counting their newly stolen money. Tyki was, by the looks of it unconscious, but was shaking his head back and forth, hitting it off of the floor. Several holes in the walls were oozing Jasdevi's bomb, and a backlog of dead Akuma was piling higher and higher as the demons tried their best to clean the stairs, each with the same fate of tasting defeat and carpeting.

"Aw. Same old same old."

Author's Note- I was hoping for more reviews, but oh well. Thanks for the people who favorited! A spinning jenny, for all who didn't study the industrial revolution, was a giant machine to spin thread with. It was used to create clothing and cloth, so people didn't run around naked. Although many people did anyway, I'm sure. A medieval stretcher is extremely painful and brutal. Never invest in one. Ever.

Shaq is a basketball player who, with a good encouragement, and a dream, could probably touch Neptune.


	3. Dining Fouls

Chapter 3 Dining Fouls

"Earl~Sama!" Road sang, trying to get the Earl's attention again. She was dancing around the kitchen, still unable to see because of Tyki's abnormally large hat, destroying the many lavishly decorated bowls of food that nobody cared much about.

The Noahs who had enough brains, such as Tyki, and Lulubell, had taken a liking to eating somewhere difficult to find, much earlier than the real dinner was supposed to take place. It was quite difficult to enjoy your food when it was being accidently shoved down your jugular by Lero, or the nearest Akuma who after a fit of rage, decided that some of their food be actually eaten, and not used food fight material.

The other Noahs didn't care where the food came from. At least if it oinked, mooed, clucked, or made a noise humanly repeatable by Road, it was edible. This even meant the horrible sucking, and dark breathing of things _inhumanly _possible to make, though these went to Jasdevi, who both exercised their sound effects nightly.

The Earl flipped his head behind him in search of the sound, grinning his usual spooky grin. Tyki, who was now slightly foaming at the mouth, continued his search for a broken skull.

"Road-Sama!" The Earl laughed, opening his arms in welcome of the now food covered Road.

Road, still giggling madly, circled around the room and after getting her leg trapped in the back of a chair, slammed into the wall, and fell onto the ground. If Tyki's silk hat hadn't been blocking her face, the Earl would have seen one of his favorite sights, Road's huge grin stretching past her eyes, and disappearing in her hairline.

"Road-Sama, why are you covered in food?" The Earl asked, not bothering to ask what the occasion was for her severely-big hat.

"It's food?" Road asked, looking down out of her hat. "Man, I thought it was blood!"

The Earl nodded, this was a more likable answer then she didn't know where she was going.

"What're we, chicken-scratch?" Devitto smiled down at the money in his hands, wondering if his bed was a good enough safe to keep Tyki away, or if he should keep it in his pants, he really hoped Tyki wouldn't look there. Devitto looked over at his brother who was giving the finger to a distressed looking Mimi.

"No, no, no! Of course not!" The Earl cackled, turning away from Road and looking down at the three on the floor. The twins both smiled a quick, by joyous sign of affection before turning back and pocketing their newly stolen cash.

Jasdero nudged his brother. "Devitto, what's that mean?" He asked, pointing at the Akuma staring at him. Mimi's face was brick red, and her two fans where hovering in the air, where she had thrown them. Both silently swooshing, as if suspended only by her anger.

"She's pissed."

"Hee! Well of course she's pissed, I did this to her." Jasdero smiled, repeating his gesture. "But what does _that _mean?" He pointed at Mimi's side.

Mimi looked down at her side, where the Noah was pointing, and began to regret ever living. She instantly jumped a little and shook her head, trying to hide her face, which was now turning a deep shade violet.

Devitto studied and at second glance noticed she had a tail, erupting straight from the middle of the back of her shirt. It was curving and hitting the ground, pounding the floor so that she was standing in a sight crevice. Devitto, who wasn't keen at looking at Mimi for extended amounts of time, in fear of being stricken blind, wasn't sure if that tail had always been there, or if it had sprouted from her back like an aggravated bean sprout. Though he couldn't remember ever being hit with something with a tail, and Lulubell had used Mimi as ammunition once before.

"She's _really _pissed."

Mimi shook her head, tears flying, embarrassed that the twins had seen her mid-Akuma. She put her hands on her hips, and after warning them of her lethal master, grabbed her fans out of the air and stalked out of the room. Surly there was something Lulubell needed to be polished.

The twins fell down onto another in a fit of laughter, not realizing or caring that Tyki wasn't dead, and wouldn't be by their hands. The Earl laughed at the twins, and then turned his attention to the man the two brothers were using as a couch.

"Tyki-pon?" The Earl asked.

Tyki's eyes flashed open , and he blinked.

"Damn it. Shit. I knew it. Stupid Teez, you landed me in Hell. I'll kill you. Oh, hey Earl, fancy meeting you here."

The Earl laughed with the giddiness of a small school boy, which would explain a lot, since he had eaten four real school boys for lunch.

"And you are surprised to see me there?" The Earl asked.

"No. I'm surprised that I let those two kids knock me down. Stupid Teez, they distracted me. Wanted their blood. I told them Jasdevi's blood tasted like Jasdevi's Hatred. They're unsettled."

The twins looked down and instantly jumped off of Tyki and ran into the kitchen, both cowering against each other, behind Road who was making a pyramid of pineapples on the floor. Much like something out of the Blaire Witch Project, there were pyramids of fruit across the floor everywhere. The twins looked down at the fruit around them and then back down at Road.

"Do you have a giant apple 'Dero and me can hide in?" Devitto asked, looking into the next room where the Earl was helping Tyki up.

"Hide in. Hide in. Hee!" Jasdero muttered, looking around him.

Road picked up a grape an offered it to them. "Hop in."

"Jasdero can't hop in that." Jasdero cried, knocking the grape out of Road's hand with his gun.

"Go die then." Road muttered, finally taking off her hat and throwing it into the next room. Tyki caught it.

"Thank you Road." He muttered as he straitened himself up and putting his top hat on, hiding his messy hair from sight. "You do know I like you the most right?"

"Yeah, but then again who doesn't?" Road smiled at Tyki.

"Us!" Jasdevi said.

"I like Devitto-"

"And I like Jasdero." The twins said together.

"Skin likes sweet things." Skin acknowledged, saying something for the first time. He was sitting at the table, filling his mouth with chocolates.

There was a meow, then a cool voice, "I hate you all."

"What? What about me?" Mimi stuttered looking up from Lulubell's nails. Lulubell smiled slightly, but shrugged.

"Tyki, please join us for some dinner, and then you can play with Jasdevi later." The Earl said as he skipped into the dining room and took the seat at the head of the table. Tyki followed him and took a seat a few chairs away from his usual chair, hoping that if he made a quick movement, or threw a Teez, then the twins would die, and the Earl could do nothing about it.

"Jasdevi, please stop cowering, and sit." The twins took a seat next to Skin, secretly thinking of using him to hit Tyki, should he try to go _Temple of Doom_ on them.

"And last, Road-Sama, where did you go?" The Earl asked, looking around him.

There was a muffled sound, then Road appeared from under the table, with a bulge in her sleeve. She tried to hide it behind one of her school books. The Millennium Earl looked at her, but started his speech.

"Lucky for all of you," The Earl started, staring at Tyki, "Thanks to Tyki's love fest with the exorcist's blood, I have no names left to give any of you."

The twins both fell into a fit of loud happy cheers.

"Except for Devitto and Jasdero." The Earl said, instantly shutting the twins up. They both stood up.

"Why?" They both demanded.

"Do you think that Cross has disappeared into a hole in the ground?" The Earl asked.

The twins looked at each other. The story they had made up to give to the questioning Noahs was that Cross had tripped and fallen to his death in an old groundhog's den. His body was then eaten by Jasdero's chicken, and this was why there wasn't any proof.

"No." The twins said quickly, then looking in opposite sides of the room, away from the Earl.

Skin looked up, his mouth full of sweets. "You lied to me!" he growled, slamming his fist onto the table. Deciding that his table banging wasn't enough, he grabbed onto the casserole it had taken an Akuma three hours to make and stuffed it first into Devitto's face, and then into his brother's. The twins both looked at each other, before breaking into another continuous sprout of laughter.

"Enough Skin." The Earl said, begging his family to be serious.

Skin looked up, and nodded, before sticking his face back into a newly frosted cake, the closest Akuma and placed in front of him. The Akuma, in human form, was a small, harried looking women, her hair was flattened over her eyes, trying to keep her fit of angry tears to herself. After slamming the cake, and several Bon-bons in front of Skin, she grabbed a fork from her apron and forced it into the table. It stuck, standing, with the spikes forced down into the table, not an inch away from Skin's hand.

The Sweet-Noah looked up and grimaced, before pulling the fork out of the table. "What is this?" He mumbled, throwing the fork at the Akuma and kicking it in the stomach, bringing it to the ground.

"This-Isn't-Sweet!" He screamed, punching the Akuma into the consistency of bone marrow.

"Any way's," The Millennium Earl continued, talking over Skin's beatings, "Jasdevi, I need you to continue your search for Cross."

The twins both grimaced, looking at the Earl and nodding.

"Now that that's finished," The Earl stood up and turned his back, ready to leave. "I have to go and harvest a few more Akuma. Road-Sama, may I make a request? Please stop using Lero as a bat. You're killing the Akuma when you use them as balls."

Road nodded, waving the bulge in her sleeve in a farewell.

"Bye-Bye Children!" The Millennium Earl laughed, dancing out of the room in a hurry.

Everybody at the table immediately slouched a little in their chairs, trying to decide the best course of action. Devitto and Jasdero looked at each other, before taking a few rolls out of a basket on the table and stuffing it into the pockets of their jeans.

Tyki was shaking his head at the twins. "Cross. One person. So Difficult, huh?"

"Cross is a stupid name." Jasdero muttered, squishing another bun into particles so he could slip it into his pocket.

"_Cross_ is a stupid person." Devitto said, and his brother nodded.

More crumbs from the twin's bread fell onto the floor, where they were scattered around the room. The nearest cleaning Akuma broke out into noisy sobs.

"Oi," Tyki said, throwing a towel at Jasdevi. "There's no point in doing that, all that's going to come out that is ants. And trust me, you don't want ants in your pants." The Noah spoke knowingly, as if by mistake, he had once had the unfortunate little insects crawling around on him before.

Jasdevi both smiled slightly, catching the towel and placing it on the table so they could fill it with food. Jasdero picked up the last piece of bread and squished it in his palm, before dropping it into the cloth. Tyki shook his head.

"I have a date with a game of poker." he said, walking out of the room. "Hope you don't die Jasdevi." He smiled at the twins, and with that, he was gone.

Road looked around the room at the remaining occupants. Skin was still killing the Akuma, and Jasdero and Devitto were filling the cloth with more items of food. Finding it quite boring she took a few bowls of sweets off of the table and began catching them in her mouth. Her sleeve did a quick whip around and a strangled yell of "Lero!" went through the air.

"There! I guess we aren't going to starve this time," Devitto said, tying the ends of the cloth together, and slinging it over his shoulder. "And off to these stupid debts." The two giggled slightly, finding humor in their situation.

Just as the two turned to say a nasty comment to Road before leaving, there was a loud rip as Road's sleeve exploded and a suffocated Lero flew around and hit the wall, before making a desperate attempt for the door. Devitto dropped his bag of food, so he could use his hand to point at the distressed umbrella.

"Lero! Lero can't breathe! When master comes back, he's going to spank you Road-Tama!" Lero circled around the room spitting and cursing Road.

"That's our ride." The twins said, Jasdero adding his usual "Hee" to the end. They both grabbed onto Lero and made a run for it, ignoring Road's curses and threats if they didn't bring him back.

Road sighed, walking back into the dining room and picking up one of her school books. The two idiots had forgotten their food. They were going to starve, and truthfully, she didn't care much. They had taken Lero. _Her _Lero too!

"Cluck-Cluck!" A harassed looking bird flew into the room and slipped his head into the bag of food. Road looked down at the bird, Jasdero would be going haywire right about now, poor little chicken was left at home, miles and miles away with a frightful Road!

Road picked the chicken up and tucked it into her arms. "Akuma!" She sang, and a heavily armed Akuma flew into the room, tucking itself next to Road, ready to shoot. There was a light flow of steam coming out of the cannons on its shoulders and hands, the Arnold Schwarzenegger looking monster clicked slightly like the trigger of a gun.

"Yes Noah?" It asked, spinning around to greet her.

"Take care of this." She said throwing the chicken into the arms of the frightening demon.

"Why thank you Noah, I was feeling peckish."

Author's note: Thank you! I exploded out of my skin when I found out that I had gotten two reviews! I was so pleased. Oh, and to answer Swift-Star9 's question, the lawyers? Chapter 4, and it'll be up soon.


	4. Drowned Leros Tell No Tales

Chapter 4 Drowned Leros Tell No Tales

Lero was not a badass as Jasdevi thought he was. They had heard only good comments about the floating umbrella, ooh he's this, ooh yesterday he called an exorcist an inflatable toilet covered in urine, and did I mention that one time when he ate that one's food, and the exorcist got so pissed off, he just fell over and died? Road, Skin when he was too lazy to move, not Lulubell being a cat every ten minutes of her life or Tyki because of his extensive ego, but it was like a conversation hub amongst the family. But after today the two vowed to make sure the Millennium Earl got a more badass ride than a talking pink umbrella.

The golem lasted twenty minutes before the two twins threw him in a river.

"No…Lero can't swim….Lero's drowning!"

The two both stood up, brushing the various plant matter off of their pants, giggling furiously about the sinking Lero.

"And he's gone," Devitto laughed, going to the edge of the river and standing over the water, cupping his hands over his eyes in an attempt to see Lero's departure longer.

"Gone! Hee!" Jasdero smiled, doubling his brother's stature, he too standing over the water the small waves licking his boot.

"And he's not coming back!"

There was a soft giggle and the two flung into the water, splashing stream everywhere and making the biggest fit of the day.

"Damn it!" Devitto screamed pounding the river's floor.

"Jasdevi's so stupid," Road sang, swinging back and forth with her hands behind her back like a water bird on cocaine.

"Road, we'll kill you!" Devitto screamed flicking his pistol back and forth for a minute, trying to get some of the water from the barrel, before cocking it and sticking it into Road's direction and making a 'go away or I'll kill you' gesture.

Road neither moved, nor said a retort to Devitto's threat, instead she stood their swaying and giggling like a hyena.

"Jasdero's the loony one, didn't I always tell you Devitto? Crazy."

Devitto looked down at his brother who was clutching his head, and shaking it back and forth, with a look of deep depression on his face, flinging water out of his hair like an enormously shaggy St. Bernard. The parts not covered by the expanded bandages on his arms were being smothered by an oncoming coat of tears.

"Jasdero?" Devitto asked, looking down at his brother and poking him in the shoulder.

"Jasdero's missing something, Jasdero wants to die!" Jasdero sobbed shaking his head and looking up at his brother.

Devitto looked down at the sobbing Noah, before clicking two and two together and sticking his tongue out at Road.

"Give Jasdero back his light," Devitto said pointing at his brother's naked head.

"Not unless you give me back my Lero," Road stated sharply, trying to look around Devitto's back, expecting to see the smiley umbrella floating ominously behind his back like a brewing storm.

"We don't have him Hee hee!" Jasdero cried taking his hands off of his head for the first time to show them they were empty.

"Where is he then?" Road asked, coming to the water's edge.

"We threw him down the river," Devitto smiled .

"Then go get him." Road said bringing Jasdero's light out from behind her back, and holding it up. "or this goes bye-bye."

"Devitto I need my light. Hee!" Jasdero clutched Devitto's arm and began pawing at him, and Devitto smiled a little as he pulled his brother next to them and they turned their back on the little sadist.

"Here," They both turned back, dumping something in Road's hand and her smile faltered and disappeared.

"What the hell is this?" She demanded holding up the thing in her hands.

It was a Lero, but its smile stretched from one side of his head to the other, with a thin, pin-like black line criss crossing his mouth not unlike the one on Jasdero. The extra-smiley Lero made a gurgling noise, like something stuck in a clogged sink, his usually shrilly voice gagged by the stitches.

"There you go, we made him better!"

"Yeah, better. Hee!"

"I don't want any of your imitations," Road growled throwing the Lero into the water and sticking her tongue out at it. It slowly disappeared as the twins lost concentration, and disappeared into Davy Jones' Locker.

The two were still giggling, holding their sides and pointing at their project. Road starred at them with an incredulous look on her face, mulling over the thoughts of sticking candles in their eyes and chucking them into an extra deadly dream full of killer Tykis dressed up in a bunny outfits.

Road held up her stolen light, shaking it back and forth so it blinked feebly, making a weak meeping sound. Picking an orange and yellow striped candle from midair, she held it to the light until it began to spark, a little trickle of black smoke emitting from the flame.

Jasdero cried out in panic and Devitto pointed his pistol at Road.

"Ah, damn it. Fine, come on Jasdero." Jasdero took off running, spewing water from his footsteps so there was a temporary dry beach, Devitto following lazily from behind.

Road took a lollipop from her pocket and laid back on the grass. The sharpened candle was no longer needed, so she extinguished it, and let it roll off her fingers and into the grass.

Jasdero's light was blinking like it had a bad case of Tourettes, but luckily didn't have third degree burns. Jasdero would not have to wrap it up in bandages later that evening, which saved him from a lot of bad mummy jokes. This object she attached onto her own head, swatting the dangling light like a small kitten, and bursting out in a laughter that would of made a dogs cry, and people spontaneously combust.

Six candies later and two shadows blocked her view, both dripping wet. She looked up at them and was pushed roughly into the ground as a dripping wet Lero was pushed into her arms.

"Lero!" She cried, hugging it furiously, "How did you two find him?"

"We followed his voice," Devitto had a frustrated look on his face, but his voice cracked half way, and a peal of laughter broke through.

"He's so loud!" Jasdero agreed.

"We went down three waterfalls," Devitto laughed, putting up three fingers.

"And landed on a shark, Hee, Hee!"

"It was thirty feet long-" Devitto held up his hands to gesture they were longer than them.

"And it was biting on Devitto's leg!" Jasdero jumped onto his brother's right leg, making biting noises in between his usual "Hee-hee!"

Road giggled, taking a large amount of cloth the two had been using as a gag from Lero's mouth and throwing the golem over her shoulder, ignoring the constant curses and vulgar gestures Lero was trying his best to give the twins.

"So what did you do?" She asked.

"We shot it!" The two said together, both gesturing to their guns and making forcing them to make the usual popping noise that they make when they go off.

Jasdero was still holding his brother's leg, so while they were at it they decided to act out the heroic battle, flying through the air and tumbling through the grass, trying to shoot at each other.

Road watched them with a curious look, she was about ninety percent sure that thirty foot long sharks didn't live in small little estuaries like this one. Though, she had nearly failed her classes when Lero wrote his name as every answer on her homework. 'What is a fossil?' Lero! 'How does pollution affect nature? Lero! Who was the father of science? Lero of course silly!

Lero was not now, nor will ever be the answer to a true or false question.

"Hee hee, and it was dead!"

The two had fought over whose leg was being torn off, and Devitto being the more dominant one switched their positions so he could be the bloodthirsty killer shark. And Devitto was the one laying in the grass in an 'I was shot and am now dead, can you not tell?' position, with Jasdero running around, clutching his leg, claiming the clearly visible limb was inside the monster fish's stomach.

"Yeah!" Devitto smiled, ruining his perfect corpse façade.

Jasdero sat next to his brother in the grass, picking through the leaves and throwing some onto his brother who sat up in a zombie manner, muttering the names of several body parts he'd eat if he were undead.

"Hey, Road you owe Jasdero something," Devitto said, pointing at her head.

"Ah, okay," Road took off Jasdero's light, and crawled over to them, smiling. She placed it on Jasdero's head , and fixed it so it was hanging directly between his eyes.

Jasdero let out a squeal of happiness, hugging himself and flicking the light back and forth. Devitto smiled, then pointed his golden pistol at Road.

"Let's go Jasdero, I want to find that bastard Cross as soon as we can, so we can go home. I have a bone to pick with Mikk,"

Jasdero nodded, standing up and clinging onto his brother. "Bye Bye Road,"

She stood up, thoughtful for a second, before waving a goodbye with the smiley Lero. "See you soon!" She giggled again.

The road leading to the nearest town was a bumpy one, one where the pot holes commonly swallow people whole and chuck them out just east of Bangkok. This was a little trick of the Earl's, and along with the deep hedges that moved to block you purposely, and the giant picker bushes with spikes the size of German Shepherds, the only people who were allowed to get anywhere near the Noah's current location was the most talented.

Unfortunately the Earl forgot about the less powerful of the Noah, and poor neglected Jasdevi were both strung up like Christmas lights from the demon picker bushes in a matter of minutes.

"What the hell are you doing?" Devitto screamed at the bushes, making them quiver slightly.

"Yeah, hee! We'll kill you!" Jasdero had been caught in the bush in mid jump. A dark vine tying itself around his ankles , swinging him back like the prey of a hungry spider.

Devitto had not been so lucky. He, only having one pant leg to grasp, was strung up by that leg only, but with a sharp thorn from the nearest ornery bush stuffed into his jacket. Devitto slapped at the sharp plant again, only to find his hand cut down the middle, he cursed and held it tightly.

"We're Noah damn it! Why are you doing this to us?" Devitto whined, taking the ribbon off of his leg and wrapping it around his bloody hands.

"Devi!"Jasdero said, flailing around. "Devi! It's Road!"

Devitto looked around before turning back to his brother.

"What do you mean a R-" Two fingers touched his lips as Road motioned for the Pincher monster to stand him on his feet.

"Where's Cross then?" Road asked, "In your pants? That's no way to make friends you know."

"You did this, didn't you? Get us out of here or we'll kill you!"

"Yeah kill! Hee."

"Oh, I was intending to let you down under a certain condition," Road smiled sadistically.

"What condition?" Devitto demanded, picking his pistol up off the ground from where it had fallen.

"You let me come with you," Road said, swinging Lero back and forth behind her back.

Devitto looked back at his brother and laughed. "You hear this crap? She wants to come with us!" Then he snapped. "Why?"

"I'm bored. Tyki's off with his mining friends again, and the Earl is off collecting souls."

"Don't you have school?"

"We're on break,"

"That means you're skipping doesn't it?"

"It means shut your mouth and give me and answer before I tell Killer here to do what he does best and slit your throat."

"What do you think Jasdero?" Devitto asked, defeated.

"Jasdero thinks Road could help a little. She could sit there and learn. Hee hee!"

Devitto gave his brother a dark look before turning back to Road and nodding. "Sure, fine. Just don't hold us back,"

"Okay!" Road sang and Jasdero was dropped onto his face by the bushes.

"My face! Hee! My face!" Jasdero moaned.

"Come on Jasdero, maybe we'll find that bastard Cross today, who knows?" He pulled his brother up and they started jumping from root to root down the path.

"Me, and I doubt it," Road giggled.

She was flying above them with Lero, chanting for them to either move faster, or not to be so stupid, sometimes both. Skimming the tree line, she picked up the occasional twig and pinecone, then threw them in the two's way, purposely making them take even longer.

"Road, do you see anything?" Devitto called up to her, he and his brother had climbed a small tree so they could see her. She landed a branch above them and swung Lero around like a small windmill.

"Two stupid boys,"

"Anything other then us?"

"Some trees, a human skull, a leaf, a lollipop, clouds, oh, and a small town a few feet in front of your faces,"

"Good," Devitto thought for something to add onto his original thought, but couldn't think of anything so just stuck his tongue out and waved the gun in his hand in the air.

"So what're we going to do Jasdevi?" Road asked.

"We," Devitto gestured to himself and his brother, "are going to pay a visit an old friend of Tyki's. Supposedly he's helped Tyki out of some sticky situations."

"Like what?"

"He shoved an Ace into a drinker's face after he got in a brawl with one of his little dirty friends hee hee."

"Well the drinker lived and the next thing you know Tyki was in a room full of Lawyers."

"And he didn't want to kill them all?" Road asked.

"He didn't tell me he just said, 'they should be in the town next over, just don't shoot them in the head, shoot them in their hands, and if that doesn't work, shoot them in the crotch,"

"Why their hands?" Jasdero asked, and Road shook her head.

"Don't answer that if you want to keep your own left hand."

"I need my hand for things," Devitto laughed while Jasdero gave him an in quizzical face.

Road made a face but continued, "So they're friendly enough?"

"Tyki said they were like butterflies!" Jasdero giggled.

Road swung Lero back and jumped from the tree, fluttering down to the ground with a small puff, and waited for Jasdevi to slip down next to her. Perhaps these lawyers would be gentle like butterfly, but then again Tyki didn't specify which butterfly he meant. Maybe these lawyers would bite like a Teez, there was always that unpredictable chance.

She fished a candy from her pocket and popped it into her mouth. This was going to be fun.

Author's Corner: Instead of writing blah blah blah, the Lero jumped over the moon and went quack, I was thinking of making a suggestion board, of awesome things I have found on the internet and recommend, so enjoy!

My first one shot, _Reunion_, please tell me how it is,

_I am the Walrus_ by the Beatles, don't try to guess what it means just 'let it be'

Deviantart dot com, highly amusing!

As always, thanks for the reviews! Oh, and I know I lied; the lawyers are just so unpredictable.


	5. Cash and Cojones

Chapter 5 Cash and Cojones

They say discovery is the cure for boredom, and that may be true but as far as Jasdevi were both concerned Road's discovery is the cure for a really bad day. Cures, as good as they may be they have those bittersweet side effects, most of the time being in the shape of a really big, and excruciatingly painful needle that a medic shoves deep into the soft tissue you used to call your arm.

The cure in this case was Road's constant array of question that ranged everywhere from 'Why do cows go moo?' to 'If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?'. Each with the amount of thought process both Devitto and Jasdero had no hope in ever earning.

"Would you say your glass was half full or half empty?" Road asked.

"What glass?" Jasdevi both looked at her as if she had been using a live alligator as a hand bag.

"Your own," When their looks continued to bore imaginary lines toward her, she added, "Just answer it idiots,"

"Empty?" Devitto said, making the shape of a wine glass in the air.

"Full! Hee hee!"

"Depends what's in it," Road pondered for a minute, "If its milk full, something bad and smelly, empty." The two both thought for a minute then shook their heads in agreement. "Soda too!"

The dirt path they had been traveling on slowly turned into hard packed stone streets, the towering oaks into the main houses, neighborhoods, and businesses that they had grown accustomed to roaming in. Though to the trio they weren't known as places of business, or homes, but playgrounds and free for all's, where any tomfoolery wasn't just accepted, it was part of their job description.

"What's the name of the place?" Road pointed toward the signs dangling from the business's eaves.

"'Johnson and friends'" Devitto said and they all burst into a bout of laughter.

"It sounds like a child molester's company!"

A small trickle of people around them immediately started what is recognized in Florida as the sting-ray shuffle, and started booking it away in case the guns in Jasdevi's hands decided to go off, or that small girl decided that she'd like to force feed a few people a decent amount of death. A couple fleeing a pub named 'The Pig's Sigh' both looked back and crossed the street in a desperate attempt from the popinjay characters.

"It's not that, is it?" Road asked, pointing toward an unoriginal stone building with a fading painted sign hanging from the eaves above the door.

The small structure wasn't anything like how Tyki had described it. Actually most people who have gone through some legal problems with asshole ex- wives or husbands would describe it as an old rickety building full of the human version of dirty vermin. Which, by the way, all the lawyers end up looking like anyway.

"Look at the sign, that's the name isn't it?" Devitto asked, looking down at the pistol in his hands, and twirling it slightly.

"Yeah," Road nodded as she peeked into the window.

"Well what are you waiting for, go ahead in!" Devitto said, shoving Road in front of him.

"Hey, it's your debts, what do you want me to follow you around for all of your life and do your work for you?"

Jasdevi looked at each other and nodded. "Wash our bedsheets! Do our chores!"

"No, now go," Road looked toward the door and Jasdero attempted to look through the peep hole between the door and its hinges.

Devitto looked at Jasdero and they both nodded at each other, Devitto shoving Road out of their view of the door. Then with one swift kick Jasdevi broke down the door, and it fell down with a huge bang, that echoed around the room full of shady characters. Devitto entered first, his brother lumbering behind him, both of them holding their guns to each others temples.

"Christ on crutches!" A man yelled, slamming a handful of papers into his briefcase.

"Where?" Road asked, giggling as she waltzed into the room, waving Lero through the air like a baton. "I'd like to see that!"

"Hey look, that one peed himself! Hee hee!" Jasdero laughed, pointing at a round, balding man trying to sheild himself by hiding behind one of his fellow buisnessman's legs.

The balding man made a short, girly scream and smacked his hands to his face so a loud pop filled the room. He let out a little muffled yell of pain and peeked out from behind his ramparts. Road skipped over to a table and picked a neatly labled packet of papers from somebody's report box, and handed them over to Devitto who looked like he was either going to be sick, or suddenly sprout a head from in between his neck and shoulders.

"We need your buisnessy powers," Devitto said, shuffling them and folding them into a roll. "Now which one of you bastards has the biggest cojones?"

A man with large wire rimmed glasses that made his eyes look to be the size of your average sized Tuna, put up his hand up in the air and stumbled toward them.

"I-I do. I'm Johnson, the president of this buisness."

"Well let's see here," Jasdevi said putting their pistols to each side of his head and cocking them.

"We need your help with these." Devitto took the bill tabs from his pocket and handed them to Johnson.

"What's this?" The laywer looked down at them and his eyes lit up. "How did two boys like you rack up twenty thousand dollars of lodging women and drinking wine?"

"You couldn't be much older then my kids at home, and they still think girls have cooties!" One of the surounding lawyers added.

"Shut it! We didn't do it." Devitto growled, shoving his pistol harder against Johnson's head.

"Are you going to help us?" Jasdero asked.

"Or do you need us to put a bullet in your head?"

Road, who had been sitting on one of the tables reading the notes of a well dressed lawyer, looked at Jasdevi and smiled. She turned to the sweating man next to her and winked at him. He looked up at her and trembled visibly.

"I'm so proud."

"Well now, answer us. You got some cash stuffed up in that penguin suit of yours?"

Johnson took a bulging leather wallet from his back pocket and opened it.

"All you want is cash? Halleluiah!"

"Well isn't that what you do? Give us cash?" Devitto asked, confused.

"Close enough." Johnson said and he handed Jasdevi a few guineas.

"We'll be taking _all _of that," Devitto snatched the wallet and dumped the contents into his hands.

"Cute kid! Hee hee!" Jasdero held up a picture of a collection of kids climbing over at each other on a shaggy rug.

"Eh, if you say so," Devitto tore the picture in half and tossed it onto the ground.

Johnson, not sure to take the idea of the two holding him hostage thinking his kids were cute, was a good thing, or a sign that he'd have better luck shoving them out of his business while they shot at him and put many bullet holes in his face. He frowned deeper and clutched his face, like a small child would do when a parent tried to stuff a spoonful of vegetables into their mouths.

"Just take it and go!" There was a murmur of agreement amongst the lawyers.

Jasdevi turned to Road and smiled slightly at her, they weren't going to give her the pleasure of knowing they were glad she had seen them being nerd pushers. She smiled back at them.

"You're welcome," She said.

"Cool, now leave."

"What?" Road asked, hurt.

"Leave. We don't like you."

Road made an agitated noise but straightened up and after sticking her tongue out at Devitto (A sign he showed back) skipped out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Jasdevi laughed and a few of the lawyers straightened up and sighed with relief.

"No! No sighing!" Devitto said. Jasdevi shot half dozen bullets into the ceiling.

"Hee hee! Devi!"

"Yes Jasdero?"

"Fun! We should do this more often. Hee hee!"

"Yes indeed we should Jasdero."

"Jesus! What are you doing in my business?"

Jasdevi's heads snapped around at the voice, their armed hands instinctively flying into the air. A large burly figure was blocking the door, standing with its hands on its hips and a handbag hanging lightly off the shoulder of her dirty restaurant apron.

Devitto snickered at the woman's language but straightened up and smiled at his giggling brother. The woman, despite the twin's immature stature took the heavy handbag off of her arm and wrapped the strap around her hand.

"Get out!" She screeched, taking a step at Jasdevi.

"No, no, this is too _funny_." Devitto laughed.

"We haven't had time to do this in forever!" Jasdero chided.

"This is my business. No Johnson, I pay the bills it's mine!" Johnson had put up his hand up like a small child in class asking if he could go pee. His hand shot down and he tucked it into his pocket.

"Sweetheart, they're dangerous don't go near them, they're armed."

"Don't tell me what to do Oscar!" The woman hissed as she wacked him over the head with her suitcase sized purse. It made a dull thud, like a person beating on a drum, and Oscar Johnson fell like a ton of bricks dropped off a three story house.

Jasdevi, who had been celebrating being called 'armed and dangerous', stopped smiling and shrunk back slightly. Mrs. Johnson took no notice and continued to beat her husband over the head.

"And _you!_" She screamed, turning away from her abused husband and pointing angrily at the two boys.

"Us?" Devitto asked.

The owner grabbed Jasdevi by the scruff of their necks and threw them out the door, roaring that they were 'good for nothing, shit heads that should really get a job'. She shut the door loudly behind her, and her shrilling voice was cut off.

Devitto picked the few bills they had collected out of his pocket and counted them, fanning himself slightly with the few guineas. Jasdero took a few and attempted to read the sign for how much they were worth.

"That was awesome." Devitto smiled.

"Hee! Let's do it again!"


End file.
